36 weeks

Today I'm 36 weeks pregnant, just like I was when Matilda was born, exactly 2 years, 6 six months and 2 weeks ago. It's an emotional day, realizing that I've actually gotten this far into a pregnancy again - and baby is healthy. Yesterday we had an appointment with a growth ultrasound. Thanks be to God, Johannes is still doing great, weighing about 6lb 9oz (just under 3 kg - about a week ahead as he has been). We are so excited to get to meet him soon, and we continue to pray that the last few weeks will also go well. It's hard picture what it will be like having a baby in the house again - seems like it was so long ago - but our family won't be complete, like my cardiologist said last week when he heard that we're having a boy. It never will be, no matter how thankful we are for this one, because we'll always be missing three. The doctor knows about our losses, but to him they don't count, so we should be completely happy with what we have now. Welcome to the world of baby losses, where you have an internal debate every time someone asks how many children you have, because you never know what the response is going to be! Despite the sadness today, we dare to look forward to bringing Johannes home, getting the house ready for him. Lord willing, only a few weeks now!